Day 22. “Lions and tigers and bears… Oh my!”
Normally, or weirdly depending upon one’s perspective, I’m a night and darkness person. There’s something about the end of the day, especially in winter, when everything is shutting down, hunkering down that I find comforting. I also seem to do my best creative work at that time and feel peace settle in. Marc is quite the opposite. He prefers the longer days, the light and bemoans June 21st when the days start getting shorter.
This morning though darkness was not my friend nor was it comforting. We left early setting out for the day’s journey in pitch blackness save for Marc’s headlamp. I followed behind keeping my gaze on his feet as I depend on his steady at the helm navigation to lead us into the light of day as my eyesight peripherally is quite diminished. For some reason this day I felt fear arising, vulnerable, disoriented. Rationally, I knew I was safe and in good hands. The mind though isn’t always rational. It runs away with itself which it was doing this morning. Darkness was not my friend. It was a runaway train. Light eventually did come and peace once again embraced me. In the silent walking that followed, my mind wandered back to the start of the day, my fears, my doubts. I tried to make sense of how what usually is so comforting and peaceful for me could morph into a “Lions, and tigers and bears oh my” experience. No writ in stone answers though trust seems to be something worth pondering a bit more.